Ivy Blue Carter. Babyonce has a name. [image]

Sweet baby jesus. ”Beyoncé has given birth to a girl early this evening in New York, says a close source. Baby and mom are doing fine.” [image]

Ring the alarm! It’s happening, for real this time. [image]

Moms rejoice! Coming this Mother’s Day is an ensemble film about ‘what to expect when you’re expecting’ starring everyone’s ex-GF, J-Lo, Avery Jessups, a Gossip guy, Andy Roddick’s wife, Anna Kendrick, Mr. Shue, Grandpa Quaid, the Rock, and the guy from Love Actually. You know, this movie is like Love Actually meets New Year’s Eve MINUS Ashton Kutcher. Speaking of which, where is Ashton? Are we being Punk’d? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got us! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?

The countdown begins… Meanwhile I have so many questions: What is Jay-Z’s approach to the birth? Is he going to pull a Draper and drink whiskey in the waiting room? Go all Knocked Up with the video camera? Or send Tina in and go party with Yeezy? Did anyone invite Kelly? Where’s Kelly?