Louis C.K., Comic Genius of the Year | GQ

Judging from the way he dresses, I’m not sure Louis C.K. ever reads GQ, but just in case he picks this up by mistake during one of his late night newsstand porno runs, here’s my advice:

Dear Louis:

Here’s the good news, kid: You’re here to stay. The bad news? Your chosen life’s work, comedy, is a steaming shithole of cruelty and degeneracy owned and operated by deranged, unattractive thieves. Ignore them. Push forward. Play by your rules and KEEP GOING. Wear blinders if necessary, but KEEP GOING. Don’t let other people tell you what’s funny. Don’t read your reviews— the bad ones hurt too much and the good ones make you weak. It’s all about ego and the moment you start to think you’re wonderful, it’s over—you’ve peaked.

Finally, and I can’t stress this enough, always be good to older Jewish comediennes who were nice to you when you were starting out and had your head so far up your own ass that you had to clean out your ears just to see.

You’re welcome. Now, who do I see about my check?

By Joan Rivers